Michael's Journal

School Time Blues

It’s that time again! Time for everyone to head back to campus and have them and enjoy the good times with all their fave folks! From early morning cram sessions to late night partying, the campus life is a good one. Not saying it’s the best… but it’s a good one. I should be there if it wasn’t for the financial aid and lack of responsibility.

We all know how FAFSA likes to skimp out on providing funding for the people. As long as you’re making three cents a day then in their eyes, you and your household have enough to fund your school endeavors. Grades can also affect the already dwindling amount of funds provided, and that is what happened in my case. I haven’t really opened up about it because I thought I would be looked down upon… but damn did I mess up. My GPA has suffered by my hands because I for the life could not pull it together. I started off with a 4.0 and it just began to go downhill from there. I don’t know what it was.

Between the worrying of me paying $4k-7k out of pocket and the battle of depression things just got hard! I had an ample amount of opportunities to buckle down and get my sh*t together, yet I wasted it on wallowing about my problems. Last fall was my first semester at home, but I was taking online classes. I was thinking hey, I have a full-time job that’s paying well and I’m a full-time student… What could go wrong? The answer to that is everything! I started to feel overwhelmed and I was not letting myself breathe. I found myself lacking in the self-care department along with me slacking on my studies. How could I possibly think things would get better if I was not actively seeking better for myself academically?

Speaking more on the lack of self-care I was doing, I found myself watching snaps of all of my college fam living it up on campus and improving in academics EXPONENTIALLY (shoutout to y’all, I’m proud). So boom! Depression crept its way right back into my bad b*tch temple. I found myself in a deep state of depression because I couldn’t have what they have. But at the same time… Did I deserve it?

God had opened up a door for me to come back on campus this past Spring semester and yet again I had not put my best foot forward. I can honestly say that this time, I was slacking and letting myself down. I put on a front to all of my friends and family that I am passing my classes with flying colors when it was literally the opposite. Had I learned nothing?

I was rooting for you

So, we’re back at this point where it’s time for my fave guys, gworls, and gays to head back to school. I am taking this semester at home but this time I WILL take it seriously! I have to keep myself focused and motivated! And to all my other guys, gays, and gworls headed off to college please make sure you’re staying on top of your studies and giving yourself the free-time that you DESERVE and not the free-time you could be using for your academics!

Gay and Geeky,


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