Hey guys, gays, and gworls! What’s popping? My Birthday, THAT’S what’s popping!
I can’t believe it, by God’s grace I was able to make it to my twenties safely and protected (along with my b-day twin! shoutout to Zoria gworl!!!). I’ll probably still be saying I’m nineteens for a good three months until it actually hits me that I’m a part of dub club (haha). I remember on my eighteenth I was going to the hookah bar with a good friend and I instantly tensed up and got anxious when I got to security because I thought I was seventeen still until it clicked in my head that negro, you’re old enough! Hopefully, it’ll click instantly this year.
This year has been full of ups and downs… but at the end of the day, this past year’s journey has to lead me to this point where I’m happy and finally comfortable in my own skin. I’ve faced various mental, emotional, and spiritual attacks just for me to overcome those obstacles with the help of counseling, self-reflection, and friends. I’ve found myself befriending a few people and opening up to them for them to help me through it all. My best friend and a few other close friends help keep me grounded and pushed me to chase my dreams and to not be held back by the fear of not making it. They’ve been there to support me and to this day, they still are. I was able to find that God placed them in my life for a reason.
Through counseling, I was given some great advice, and a piece of it was to do a self-reflection and acknowledge things so it wouldn’t build up and fester. I started in March with the self-reflection and began to unpack a lot of my issues from the beginning to the end. I’ve also got better at acknowledging my problems and my mental illness. Like yes, things happen. Yes, sometimes I get so low that it’s hard to come back from. But at the end of the day if I keep my head up and attempt to keep a positive attitude towards things, then my sadness would be long gone.
My emotional self-has grown so much. I acknowledged that whether it’s a friend or someone I’m interested in, I felt the need to always have someone there. From that point, I started practicing loving my own self and genuinely enjoying my own space without letting anyone interrupt it. I also got better with dealing with my emotions when they hit (good and bad). I’ve come to learn to love myself wholeheartedly. I come to know my worth. I’ve come to the conclusion that what’s for me will be just for me. Plus, I’m young, I shouldn’t be worried or thinking about being boo’d up… I should be out here living my best life! Not saying that I’ll turn down one if it comes along but just know I’m not actively searching for one. Never settle for less because it’s available at the moment, just wait for what you deserve to come around and I guarantee that you that life will be better. No one should ever settle.
Spiritually, things in my life have been getting better once I started to talk and pray to God more. At my lowest of lows, I prayed, and he brought me up out of that. When I was having issues, I would talk to him and it seems like my issues practically vanished. I prayed to him about my platform and boom… It’s here and popping!
Now that I am officially in my twenties, I will celebrate my growth over this past year and continue to grow forever. I learned that growth is the type of thing that everyone needs in their life!
Although I’m not in my feelings I will now go and blast 20 Somethings because I can now (haha).
Stay Gay and Geeky,