Hey, what’s up guys, gays, and gworls! I know it’s been a minute since I’ve done a movie review but I’m back at it like a crack addict. This time I will talk about Ocean’s Rihanna… or Ocean’s 8 for short.
So, Ocean’s 8 is a movie that takes place in the same movie universe as the three previous movies. We see Debbie Ocean, a sister of Danny Ocean released from prison after five years and let me say… she put on a hell of a show for the parole officers! She straight up put on a front that she would return to the city trying to start fresh and turn over a new life. We all know that’s a lie sis but go off I guess. Once released, she reclaimed her stuff and walked out of the prison in some four-inch heels as she was headed out to go cause some mayhem and run up a check!
What seems to not even be less than four hours out of prison, we see the good sis Debbie pulling off a successful perfume and clothing heist (I guarantee these bad Lil’ kids about to try this and fail dramatically) and head to a top-notch hotel. So let’s do a count. With the inherited Ocean family trait, she got herself free clothes, perfume, AND a free hotel room. I stan a fugal queen! In a sense, she is frugal because she is taking precautions to spend as little money as possible. Then we go off to see her connecting to persuade her good sis Lou to want to help pull off this heist with her, the heist to steal the beloved necklace that will make them FILTHY rich! We see them plot and plan this heist accordingly based off each other’s innate ability.
They begin to plot and recruit five of the baddest b’s out in the game, one of them being Nine Ball AKA Eight Ball AKA Rihanna, Queen of Barbados (haha). Nine Ball goes from hacking these low-security cameras to controlling the systems one of the biggest events ever.
Rose, the failed fashion designer setting the majority of the plan in stone by being around the famous Daphne Kluger like 25/8 has some hilarious scenes from the staring down of the necklace to the red-carpet questions!
Constance, the professional kleptomaniac goes from stealing nice watches to fine jewelry. Sis was real deal out here scamming people on the street using card tricks to steal their watches and complaining about metro cards until the check cleared!
Miss Amita AKA Mindy Kaling was out here just being her best beautiful self. She went from cutting jewelry with her mom’s company to cutting real ones and living her best life swiping right in Paris.
We see the good gworl Tammy go from being a thieving married lady with kids to being insanely rich and have a facility to hold her stolen goods. I mean hey, those thousands of bikes had to go somewhere.
At the end of it all, they go unseen and ignored (which was the plan) and they all got what they want to live their happy, rich and Caucasian lives, especially Debbie. Debbie finally cleared her name and her record by getting ole an dude that got her sent to prison… sent to prison. If karma doesn’t work, then I mean hey, take revenge into your own hands!
This movie was well-crafted and had semi-amazing acting but at the end of the day, we were all going to watch because Rihanna stars in it. It’s just basic facts. Whether her acting was bomb or below subpar, the theaters were going to be packed and them checks were going to continue to get cleared! I give Ocean’s Rihanna a solid 7.5 out of 10 rating.
If you want to check it out, it’s available everywhere digitally for purchase and on DVD/Blu-ray at many major electronic retailers ranging from $14.99 to $19.99.
Stay gay and geeky,